


Close Enough to Wonder

by KittyCatriona (War_Worn_Lipstick)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, death mention, idk - Freeform, it's all hypothetical stuff, not graphic violent descriptions but there are some touchy ones, so if you don't like violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 21:35:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6825289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/War_Worn_Lipstick/pseuds/KittyCatriona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan realizes he has the power over life and death, and he talks to Phil about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Close Enough to Wonder

**Author's Note:**

> What the heck is this? I don't know. I literally just wrote it in like fifteen minutes. Here, take it away from me, please. What the heck.

There are lips between my teeth and I pause to consider biting down. I pause to consider what that would mean. What damage that would bring to this relationship. What power I hold in every slight movement. 

It’s dark. I don’t want to be thinking that sort of thing. 

“Dan?” 

Phil’s mouth moves against mine. He speaks gently. 

“Sorry,” I whisper.

“Is there something wrong?” he asks. I feel the reverberations of his voice against my chest where I’m pressed against him, where I’m laying on top of him. 

“No,” I say, but I sit back anyways. I look away from him anyways. My lips feel blank now anyways. 

We’re silent for a minute. 

“You’d tell me, right?” he asks. 

“Of course,” I say, and I still don’t look at him. 

We both know it’s a lie and we both feel the heavy weight of silence as he wraps his arms around my shoulders. He squeezes and I exhale, like a fat balloon. 

It becomes evident after a while that he’s waiting for me to say something. So I try to put it into words. I try to put it into words without terrifying him. “I’m so powerless, you know? We all are.”

He hums. 

“And yet we have so much power, too.” 

I don’t explain so he nudges his nose against the side of my neck. 

“I know that in an instant I could probably kill you, and that’s so big,” I finally say and I feel him get tense. “But it’s also not so big, because we’re all just a blip, we’re all just going to die anyways.” 

I realize after recalling my words that I basically just told him it’d be easy to kill him and it wouldn’t even mean anything, so I backtrack. “I don’t want to kill you.” 

“That’s… good.” 

“But I could.”

“Dan?” Phil says. He untangles his arms from around me. “Can we not do this?”

“Do what?”

He sighs. “I know you’re just talking because you need to, but you have to understand that it scares me.”

I nod once, then twice. “I do. Sorry.”

We sit, an awkward distance from each other, for too long. Eventually, he smiles. “You won’t kill me in my sleep, no?” 

I smile back but it falls a little flat. “Definitely no. I like you too much.” 

He looks at me and I look at him. 

After a moment, I add, “And that’s pretty big, I think.” 

He nods. “Let’s go to bed, then.” 

I curl against his body and he drags me down next to him on the pillows. 

“You’re cute, Dan,” Phil says. I let out a huff of air, a laugh, but not. 

“That’s the last thing I expected you to say after I told you it would be easy to kill you.” 

He shakes his head—I feel the movement ruffle my hair. “It’d be easy to physically do it, sure. But dealing with it later? That’s the tough part.”

“And you know this… how exactly?”

Phil laughs and I join in, enjoying the feeling of his chest heaving beneath me. 

“It’s the reason people don’t go around killing each other constantly.”

I snort. “Phil Lester, the evolutionary psychologist.” 

“Shut up. It’s true.” 

“Whatever,” I say. And I close my eyes. 

My head and neck are exposed to his hands and I stop breathing for a second when I realize what that means. What damage he could bring to this relationship. What power he has over me in this instant. 

As if in a test, I turn my head deeper into the pillows, and all of my neck is now clear and open for him. I keep my eyes closed. I give him a moment to think it through and do it. To think it through and just snap my neck.

He doesn’t, obviously. It’s Phil Lester, and I trust him. And somehow, it seems, he trusts me, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading that little What the Heck. Maybe I'll make a "What the Heck" series out of all of these shizzy little things I write. God. What the heck, honestly.


End file.
